This is a particular skill of mine. I used to see it as courageous but now I realise it is a problem. The next ‘project’ I want to start is a family and there is no running away from that.
Two of my best friends who have recently had babies have told me that they have felt overwhelmed at times. There have been moments when they seriously considered running away. The responsibility of having another human being be entirely dependent on you is somewhat terrifying. It requires you to be not just a functional but an ‘optimal human being’. I have had that feeling many times in situations in which the stakes were much lower…and that’s usually when I run away…
A few things I have run away from:
- My lifelong dream of being a contemporary dancer
- Being a fitness instructor
- Teaching English
- Teaching yoga
- Teaching Zumba
- People who have expectations of me
- Responsibility in general
Some of my main reasons for running away:
- Impostor Syndrome
- Perfectionism
- Lack of self esteem
- Not liking humans
- Anxiety
- Introversion
- Blaming ‘the system’
This list makes me sound like a serious mess! These things are fairly mild, but they are still debilitating. They combine to create a ‘semi-serious mess’ that needs some work! With this in mind, I will attempt two low stakes projects publicly. This will bring me closer to my goal of being a responsible adult.
1. Writing This Blog
So far so good!
2. Learning how to Paint with Watercolours
I pledge to document my progress on this blog…however embarrassing it may be.
Click on the links below to see my watercolour journey:
flailing about 
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