This is me, Nai. 

Most people write blogs after figuring things out and want to share their advice on… figuring things out. I thought I would take a different approach by writing from a fresh perspective…

Embracing the mess from right in the middle of it!

**Caveat**: This perspective comes from a specific type of privilege. Namely, a white, highly educated, middle-class woman with a lot of time to think and ‘flail about’.

What do I mean by mess?

I am nearly 40, unemployed with no career prospects, living in a tiny apartment, and have no kids. From a conventional point of view, this sounds messy. However, this is not the mess I am referring to. 

The mess I refer to lies between my ideals and my actions. This fuzzy area is where I flail about the most. I allow myself to be constantly tugged between paradoxes produced by our absurd system of self-defeating convenience. Yet my wobbly foundations stem from a deeper mess comprised of insecurities and complexes I haven’t yet ‘figured out.’

I plan to document my progress along a path toward integrity and fulfillment in this blog. My intention is to be embarrassingly honest and embrace my failures, writing my way through my inhibitions and discomfort. I see it as an exercise in ‘not running away’, which is usually one of my favourite things to do.

My other exercises in not running away will be to document my progress as an artist and writer.

Ideally, I would like to transform my ‘flailing about’ into a joyful frolic.

I invite you to join the dance.